Kailey: Matt, you'd be a great father... Mom: No, he'd be a shitty father, but a great sperm doner... What does THAT mean?!
I wanna do hood rat stuff with my friends in a suit
The pool in my yard is safe for swimming again. There's no way the snakes could survive the amount of gasoline I dumped in.
Remind me never to go swimming with Phil Collins.
CNN had a story covering the world's richest animals. They can probably get rid of the middle N in their name now.
I am dyslexic, I walked into a bra
If Batman and Robin were indeed "special friends", would that classify him as a Fruitbat?