WTF Statuses

It's gotta be weird stuffing money into a stripper's bikini when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it.
♥ I love you so drunk that nothing and no one can separate while you do not let. ♥
how does one whole side of a town smell like garlic??
I bet Lee Harvey Oswald always remembered where he was when Kennedy was shot.
You can't win a marathon without wearing Band-Aids on your nipples.
Still no electricity. Starting to panic. Just ate the cat.
Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals....
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