WTF Statuses

I knew I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
Fart when people hug you. Makes them feel strong.
My wife felt me because I’m dyslexic.
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For the average American the best way to tell if you have Covid-19 is to couch in a rich person’s face and wait for their test result.
The bank teller was wearing a mask, so I gave her all my money.
If you evacuate, you better take that salt life sticker off your truck...
If this guy making my sandwich goes as a sloth for Halloween I guarantee he will nail it.
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