WTF Statuses

If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.

I just removed my hard wood floor in my bedroom and found a beautiful carpet underneath.

The number 5 is like an honorary even number.

I buy my condoms at Costco. When you go through them like I do, you need a place with a really good return policy.

I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.

Having sex while listening to music would have been a lot more awkward in the 1500's.

If I was Columbia Drug Lord. I'd dye the cocaine black then fill printer toner cartridges with it. I could charge double for toner vs charging for just cocaine. Would be legal too!