WTF Statuses

Gunpowder is just angry sand.
Jeff Bezos: I'm going to need a divorce. Divorce Attorney: Frequently bought together, gym membership.
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I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.
I before E except after C has been disproven by science
Having sex while listening to music would have been a lot more awkward in the 1500's.
If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine
Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.
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    Robert Zunick
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