WTF Statuses

Gunpowder is just angry sand.

Jeff Bezos: I'm going to need a divorce. Divorce Attorney: Frequently bought together, gym membership.

I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.

I before E except after C has been disproven by science

Having sex while listening to music would have been a lot more awkward in the 1500's.

If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine

Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.