WTF Statuses

I knew I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.
Fart when people hug you. Makes them feel strong.
My wife felt me because I’m dyslexic.
If you evacuate, you better take that salt life sticker off your truck...
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‪Cable guy was on my street and asked me what time it was. I told him it was between 8 am and 1 pm‬
If this guy making my sandwich goes as a sloth for Halloween I guarantee he will nail it.
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    Robert Zunick
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