WTF Statuses

Gunpowder is just angry sand.
Jeff Bezos: I'm going to need a divorce. Divorce Attorney: Frequently bought together, gym membership.
I knew I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.
Fart when people hug you. Makes them feel strong.
Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.
If you evacuate, you better take that salt life sticker off your truck...
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ZYuppi
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.
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