WTF Statuses

If this guy making my sandwich goes as a sloth for Halloween I guarantee he will nail it.
#17155
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Xyuppi
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
#17242
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ZYuppi
Nothing changes a Facebook relationship status faster than a weekend full of tagged photos.
#17298
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Xyuppi
‪Don’t ever let someone tell you how many ounces of wine in a glass. You measure that shit with your heart.
#17437
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Xyuppi
I am trying to get into the Christmas "spirit" but can't get the bottle open...
I'm here to self deprecate and chew bubble gum, and I forgot to bring bubble gum because I'm the worst.
#17428
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Xyuppi
My mom left me a voicemail so long that I forgot it was a message and started taking to her.
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