WTF Statuses

I found $20 laying in the parking lot and thought to myself “What would Jesus do?” So, I turned it into wine.
#17846
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Xyuppi
The ICU is where you take someone that has been injured playing PeekaBoo
#17847
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Florida
Not saying I’m old, but… When I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas
Is it just me or do you think there's something terribly wrong with YouTube playing a 30 second commercial from their sponsor before watching a How to operate a fire extinguisher during an emergency video?
#17849
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Florida
I'm bored. I think I'll go to WalMart, find a great parking spot and sit in the truck with my reverse lights on for awhile.
#17850
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Florida
O.J Simpson can now rest easy knowing his ex-wife's killer is dead.
#17851
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Florida
I’m getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand
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