WTF Statuses

I know it’s rain but I hate when my coworker tell me how many inches they got last night.

Having sex while listening to music would have been a lot more awkward in the 1500's.

The only way I'll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.

Robots have been stealing jobs from people for years. Just ask the old house band from Chuck E Cheese.

Apple is now valued at 1 trillion dollars which is the same as the GDP of Florida, but that's comparing Apple's to oranges.

Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.

A massage is just professional petting for humans.