WTF Statuses

Gunpowder is just angry sand.

Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors.

80% of adulthood is just unsubscribing from emails you no longer wish to receive.

Since Facebook claims ownership of everything you post on their website I think I should start uploading my bills.

I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googling "What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?"

I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat

I think Rudolph's story got it all wrong. Usually it's the brown-nosers that end up in leadership roles.