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Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.
A human with robotic limbs is amazing, but a robot with human limbs is absolutely terrifying.
They should give the girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor a cat.
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Do dogs in Mexico speak Espaniel?
If you wear camouflage clothing in public it does the exact opposite of what it's supposed to do.
Traditions are basically dead people peer pressuring us
The fact that dishwashers also clean themselves is rarely appreciated.
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    Robert Zunick
Looking for more laughs? Check out Jokes for Dad!

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