WTF Statuses

My wife felt me because I’m dyslexic.

According to Pinterest, I'm severely under-utilizing mason jars.

‪Local man addicted to Brake Fluid says he can stop at any time. ‬

Big deal Times Square. I drop the ball at least 3 times a week.

I can't wait till New Year's Day 2021. Then I can say hindsight is really 2020.

I can't find my "Gone in 60 Seconds" DVD. It was here a minute ago.

Pancakes: Because NO, you cannot have cake for breakfast, but you can have fried cake for breakfast.