WTF Statuses

#17406
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Xyuppi
‪instead of a condom, carry a moist towelette in your wallet. You run into chicken wings a lot more offer than sex. ‬
#17407
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Xyuppi
‪I was drinking at a bar then I took a bus home. That doesn’t seems very odd to you but I’ve never driven a bus before ‬
#17408
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Florida
To my wife: We're not getting older. We're getting more interesting to medical professionals.
If you have 12 followers on Instagram, you’re unpopular. If you have 12 followers in real life, you’re the messiah.
#17412
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ZYuppi
People get mad at the teenagers trick or treating when the real freeloaders are the parents with the infants.
#17413
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Xyuppi
‪Im doing crunches twice a day now. Captain in the in the morning and Nestle in the afternoon ‬
How are turkeys ever awake with all of that tryptophan in them?
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