WTF Statuses

Last time I got up this early I was fishing with my Dad. We caught a sting ray and some flounder. He was a great dad, but even better bait.
She told me she eats fruit when she’s hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm not allowed to watch Harry Potter without reading the bible afterwards lol .
Angelina & Brad called their biological daughter Shiloh. I think we should all pray that little Shiloh Pitt is not dyslexic.
i was taking a shower when my mom told me i had my clothes on.
On average, humans have one testicle.
It doesn't have a dong in it, that's just the sound that it makes
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