I bet the dude that invented toast just burnt the bread and didn't want to tell anyone.
There is no reason to tailgate someone in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35 over the speed limit. Those flashing lights on the top of your car look ridiculous too.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you... I would start thinking about you.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend.
"And he said unto his brethren, A man shall not poketh another man on facebook for thine is gayeth" #lostbibleverses
How's everyone holding up? It's crazy out there. I've killed like fifteen zombies already. Why are they all carrying candy?