Funny Statuses

Aliens probably ride past Earth and lock their doors.

I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat

I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googling "What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?"

I was thinking about going to Walmart for Black Friday but I couldn't find my pajamas.

I just downloaded a pirated copy of The Bohemian Rhapsody movie. The quality sucks...I can only see a little silhouette of a man.

I think Rudolph's story got it all wrong. Usually it's the brown-nosers that end up in leadership roles.

I am trying to get into the Christmas spirit but can't get the bottle open...