Funny Statuses

They should give the girls who don’t get a rose on The Bachelor a cat.

‪Sometimes I wonder, what ever happened to those people I gave directions...

Birthday presents are just rewards for not having died yet.

A truck loaded with Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on I-75 in Atlanta. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours.

Getting gas. I noticed the person before me on pump 3 bought $1 worth. Where the hell were they going? To pump 4?

Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has obviously never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.

If you wear camouflage clothing in public it does the exact opposite of what it's supposed to do.