Funny Statuses

And in other news, a terrorist attack has blown away two houses - one made of straw and the other made of wood. Police think that it's probably a lone wolf.

In Florida we get "I'm still voting" stickers.

‪I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service. ‬

We were so poor that all we had for dinner was “helper”.

If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell? Medicine

Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.

impatient student: let’s wrap this up sex ed teacher: that’s the general idea, yeah.