Funny Statuses

Aladdin could have just handed the lamp to Jasmine and they would have gained an extra 3 wishes.
#17270
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Florida
I thought my dryer was shrinking my clothes, it turned out it was the refrigerator.
#17271
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ZYuppi
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don't want to see a lot of it...
I have a bumper sticker that says 'Honk If You Think I'm Sexy' so I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
They're remaking Pet Sematary, A horror classic about resurrecting things that should stay dead...
#17268
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ZYuppi
Do you think Jesus would have found the acronym "YOLO" a bit offensive?
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