Funny Statuses

Canadian bacon is just ham that's apologizing for not being bacon.

My grief counselor just died. I really don’t care. I guess we made progress.

You picture a lot more hair when you hear "Hair" as opposed to hearing "Hairs".

The problem with driving an old air-cooled Volkswagen bus is kids keep mistaking it as an ice cream truck, and the worst part is it's so slow they could almost catch you.