Funny Statuses

I’m going to write a modern Christmas song called “baby is cold outside” it’s the story of a woman arguing with her husband about the thermostat

For a song about the piano man, the harmonica man won't shut up.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

My doctor prescribed me a nasal steroid. Now everything has a strong smell.

Gunpowder is just angry sand.