Funny Statuses

#17835
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Florida
A friend lost two fingers in saw accident. He asked the surgeon if he would be able to write with that hand. Surgeon replied: Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.
Florida is just a humid Walmart
#17830
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Kristian Alekov
Sometimes I think I'm reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness
#17833
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Kristian Alekov
I weigh myself fully naked. If you don’t like it you can go to a different Publix.
#17846
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Xyuppi
The ICU is where you take someone that has been injured playing PeekaBoo
Helium addiction is horrible because no one takes your cries for help seriously.
#17831
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Kristian Alekov
It’s very sad that fathers only get one day but sharks get a whole week.
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