Funny Statuses

#17166
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Xyuppi
I’m staring a petition for Barbara Walters to do the Ball Drop next New Year just to hear her say “ I’m Barbara Walters, and this is 2020”
#17273
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ZYuppi
A friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.
#17226
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Florida
I just found out cockfighting is done with roosters. That's 12 months of training wasted.
I'm not sure what shocked my mailman more, the fact that I came to the door completely naked, or the fact that I knew where he lived.
#17158
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Xyuppi
The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas. As if he wasn't going to see me 5 more times before then.
#17350
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Xyuppi
Taco Bell is selling fries. Burger King is selling tacos. KFC is putting Cheetos on chicken sandwiches. I knew we shouldn’t have legalized marijuana
#17327
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Xyuppi
‪Cable guy was on my street and asked me what time it was. I told him it was between 8 am and 1 pm‬
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