Funny Statuses

Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to baggage claim. Then it’s like take whatever bag you want.

Starting Tuesday, customers will now be required to unload the semi-trucks at WalMart. This will be in addition to your self-checkout duties.

I learned to cook just so I had an excuse not to do dishes.

Back in my day we had so much toilet paper and eggs that we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.

Johnny Depp gets 15 million dollars for being with a nut job. And all these years I've been doing it for free!

Teens don't know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing the wrong crap for years until the truth destroyed us.

I wonder what the part of my brain, that used to store telephone numbers, is doing nowadays.