Kristian Alekov
Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to baggage claim. Then it’s like take whatever bag you want.
Kristian Alekov
Sometimes I think I'm reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness
Florida
A friend lost two fingers in saw accident. He asked the surgeon if he would be able to write with that hand. Surgeon replied: Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.
Florida is just a humid Walmart
Kristian Alekov
I weigh myself fully naked. If you don’t like it you can go to a different Publix.
Kristian Alekov
Back in my day we had so much toilet paper and eggs that we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.
Kristian Alekov
It’s very sad that fathers only get one day but sharks get a whole week.