Funny Statuses

All I ask is that if we arm the teachers, that the librarians get silencers.

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."

Whenever someone says they did something, "like a boss", I assume that means they didn’t do it at all and are merely taking credit for it.

These days children wash their own mouths out with soap.

Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.

I think the golden rule for men should be, don’t say anything to a woman at work that you wouldn’t want another man to say to you in prison.