Funny Statuses

I remember when I was a kid you could go to the store with 1 dollar and come home with 3 bags of chips, 2 candy bars and a cold drink. Now, they have cameras everywhere.

‪If you’re arguing loudly on your cell in public, please put it on speaker. I need to hear both side of the story. ‬

Taco Bell is selling fries. Burger King is selling tacos. KFC is putting Cheetos on chicken sandwiches. I knew we shouldn’t have legalized marijuana

‪Cable guy was on my street and asked me what time it was. I told him it was between 8 am and 1 pm‬

A friend asked me why scuba divers always fall backwards into the water. I told him if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat.

It's been 6 months since I joined a gym and still no progress. I'm going there in person tomorrow to find out what's really going on.

I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and then roll me down a hill. They were good years.