Funny Statuses

#17826
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Kristian Alekov
White Claw tastes like you are drinking TV static while someone screams the name of a fruit from another room.
#17838
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Xyuppi
I will be mailing out a W-2 on January 5th for everyone who was up in my business this year.
I don't want to party like it's 1999, I want to grocery shop like it is 1999.
People think I’m good at keeping secrets but the truth is I’m just bad at paying attention to what you told me.
#17842
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Xyuppi
The only blizzard conditions I am interested in are from Dairy Queen.
If the Paleo diet is so good then why did the Flintstones need vitamins?
I joined an Amish support group, but I fell off the wagon.
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