The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I'm just updating my facebook while I wait for the kettle to boil.
Santa goes to your house, down your chimney, and watches you while you sleep and everyone adores him. But I do it ONE time...
Just watched a dog chase its tail for 5 minutes and I thought: 'Wow! Dogs are easily entertained"... Then I realized, I was watching a dog chase its tail for 5 minutes.
Willow Smith is 11 years old and has a tongue piercing, half of her hair shaved off, and is claiming to be bisexual? Sounds like somebody needs to move in with their auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
This is part your fault too. Don’t tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My daughter has decided to become a vegetarian. I'm frying bacon.
Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying "sorry for the damage." Watch their reactions.