Just saw an ad for a tampon with the tagline "Gives better protection. Period." I normally approve of puns, but that's just a bloody disgrace...
Dear future husband, When you propose to me, please don't put the ring in my food because I guarantee I will eat it.
Cyberbilly
A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
Watching "Batman: The Movie", Batman is hanging from a helicopter with a shark biting his leg. He asks for Robin to pass him the "Shark Repellent Bat Spray" If shark repellent existed I would totally keep it in my helicopter, because that's where I would most likely run into sharks.
Why do people put designs on toilet paper. its not like someones going to wipe their butt & be like" oh my god a flower"
Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't quite finished
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.