I've noticed more and more little kids with cell phones and social networks. What does a kindergartner have to tweet about? "I'm getting better at drawing in the lines!" #cantwaitforstorytime
My wife calls our waterbed the dead sea.
Cyberbilly
Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
California leads the nation in pot production and BigFoot sitings. Coincidence? I think not...
I have this habit of sorting people I know into a Hogwarts house.
Cyberbilly
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted