Heard someone talking about their "O" face. Immediately assumed they meant Oreos and chimed in proclaiming my love for double-stuffed. What?
So there's a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son his left physically disabled. In a twist of events the son is kidnapped and kept in a tank while his father chases the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally challenged woman. Finding Nemo is quite the thriller.
"Fight fire with fire" - unequivocally the worst advice I have ever received. My house just burned even faster.
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
Cyberbilly
Of all the lies I've told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Spooning leads to forking.
Saw a monarch butterfly today, what made it special is that it was the first time it wasn't stamped on top of a strippers ass.