Funny Status Ideas

I have OCD and ADD. Which means everything has to be perfect, but not for very long.

2,000 mockingbirds is 2 kilomockingbirds

How I see dogs: Beagle, German Shepherd, Chihuahua, Pekingese, Poodle, Pug. How I see cats: Cat, cat, cat, cat, cat.

DWI attorneys would be smart to buy ad space on Taco Bell hot sauce packets.

I am not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.

An overnight earthquake has completely wiped out Etchisketchistan.

Helium addiction is horrible because no one takes your cries for help seriously.