Funny Status Ideas

I'm excited I won as well but let's not go overboard here, computer solitaire.

It's not that I'm suicidal but jumping off a building onto a trampoline held by firemen sounds like so much fun.

All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh, just not when he drops his pants.

4 out of 5 bubble baths result in Santa Claus beards.

Give the Wicked Witch a break, she couldn't take showers her entire life, you would be mean and scary looking too.

At a wedding reception someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living." The bartender was crushed to death.

I get to my doctor appointments 45 minutes late so I can get there right on time.