Funny Status Ideas

Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

If the Pillsbury doughboy had Facebook, he would be overwhelmed with pokes.

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

It adds a new level of intimidation to squirt gun wars when you put a laser sight on your Super Soaker.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

What's another word for synonym?