Funny Status Ideas

I had a dream about Rick Moranis last night. It was probably his biggest starring role since "Honey I blew up the kid."

They laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing anymore.

Sometimes asking if there's anything good on television is like asking if there's anything delicious in the toilet.

Sad to say at this point in life my nest egg would barely make a crappy omelet.

Cannibals don't have funerals, just impromptu buffets.

As your kids get older, their birthday parties become less fun, because you have to start inviting THEIR friends.

If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?