Funny Status Ideas

Someday I will disappoint a burglar with my one drawer of Taco Bell mild sauce packets.

Does Special Teams take the short bus to football games?

Investigators weren't sure how the victim was killed, but they did find traces of kindness at the scene.

It's all a lie, you guys. After extensive research I have found that nearly ALL microbiologists are the same size as regular people.

My life should be more James Bond and less Gold Bond.

"If it ain't broke, break it." - Facebook programmers

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?