Funny Status Ideas

Ever visited the retirement home and wondered if you could IRON some of those folks' wrinkles out? Well, the short answer is "no, you can't"

"If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee." "If you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left over by those who got there first.

You would think Dodge would be a ghost town by now, with all those folks wanting to get the heck out.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

I'd feel better about the local taxes taken out of my check if it didn't feel like I was off-roading in Moab every time I drive to work.

At the Fox News store, the customer is always right.