Funny Status Ideas

Investigators weren't sure how the victim was killed, but they did find traces of kindness at the scene.

It's all a lie, you guys. After extensive research I have found that nearly ALL microbiologists are the same size as regular people.

My life should be more James Bond and less Gold Bond.

"If it ain't broke, break it." - Facebook programmers

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

James Franco always looks like he's trying to read an eye chart.

I bet the guy who first used the phrase, "There's more than one way to skin a cat" was an awkward conversationalist. Just a guess.