Funny Status Ideas

Right now, one of our future presidents is watching Jersey Shore in a mustard-stained Justin Bieber t-shirt. We did this to ourselves.

My sock puppet keeps me company in waiting rooms. It also keeps strangers from sitting next to me so win/win really.

It's odd how they name storms, but they don't name calms. There's a gentle breeze this morning. I think I'll call him Doug.

I often enjoy a friendly game of Guess what I ate last night for dinner with my fellow elevator riders. Everyone's a winner!

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Maybe it was inappropriate for a first date but if there's a maze on the menu I'm asking for crayons.

Started a program to encourage women to camp outdoors. What’s weird is that guys keep signing up for our “Girls Gone Wild” adventures.