Funny Status Ideas

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left over by those who got there first.

You would think Dodge would be a ghost town by now, with all those folks wanting to get the heck out.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

I'd feel better about the local taxes taken out of my check if it didn't feel like I was off-roading in Moab every time I drive to work.

At the Fox News store, the customer is always right.

Someday I will disappoint a burglar with my one drawer of Taco Bell mild sauce packets.

Does Special Teams take the short bus to football games?