Funny Status Ideas

It's odd how they name storms, but they don't name calms. There's a gentle breeze this morning. I think I'll call him Doug.

I often enjoy a friendly game of Guess what I ate last night for dinner with my fellow elevator riders. Everyone's a winner!

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Maybe it was inappropriate for a first date but if there's a maze on the menu I'm asking for crayons.

Started a program to encourage women to camp outdoors. What’s weird is that guys keep signing up for our “Girls Gone Wild” adventures.

Ever visited the retirement home and wondered if you could IRON some of those folks' wrinkles out? Well, the short answer is "no, you can't"

"If you were my husband I'd poison your coffee." "If you were my wife, I'd drink it!"