Funny Status Ideas

Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses.

When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status, You know you've either done something very right or something very wrong.

Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween

When the wife and I got married we vowed to uphold the Ten Commandments....She does 5 and I do the other 5.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

I think I'm going to learn how to play ukulele because I'm not nearly annoying enough.

Got the title for my Keanu Reeves biography: "Whoa! Is Me"