Funny Status Ideas

Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween

When the wife and I got married we vowed to uphold the Ten Commandments....She does 5 and I do the other 5.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

I think I'm going to learn how to play ukulele because I'm not nearly annoying enough.

Got the title for my Keanu Reeves biography: "Whoa! Is Me"

When it comes time for me to be reincarnated, I hope they forget all those times I wished I were a fly on the wall.

Hacked into my boyfriend's email. He told his friend some crazy girl is obsessed with him. No mention of a name unfortunately.