Funny Status Ideas

I went to my hypnotist for my insomnia. I was just looking to pay for the "You're getting very sleepy..." part.

If the world doesn't end on December 21, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on September 20, 2013

An ewok is basically a disgruntled Care Bear with a shiv.

If you have ear phones in & you're not tapping your feet or beating your leg-drum, I find it hard to believe you're even listening to music.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the most whimsical film about the systematic murder of children that I have ever seen.

When historians look back on the early 21st century, I suspect that none of the defining works will use the phrase "forward this if you".

If I had access to time travel, I'd use it to go back and cash in on some of those naps I was always refusing as a kid.