Funny Status Ideas

Does the term don't drop the soap in jail apply to women prisons?

Has anyone ever noticed that drive through ATMs have Braille on all the buttons? Who's idea was it that blind people would be driving, let alone be capable of finding the bank?

I don't think gastroenterologists should go around using the phrase "tongue in cheek."

My hipster doctor cut out a tumor before it got big.

Wtf? The neighbor came knocking at my door at 2:30 in the morning. Luckily for him I was still up playing drums.

The Trojans learned the hard way that you actually should look a gift horse in the mouth.

I didn't get my period this month or any month prior to that. If I'm pregnant my parents will flip. Also science, science will also flip.