Funny Status Ideas

When a group of midgets do the wave do they call it the ripple?

You will know you're truly famous when you die and half of the population continues to believe you are somehow, somewhere, alive.

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's wine that does all that. Never mind.

When one person is obsessed with another it's called stalking. When two people are obsessed with each other it's called love.

I only use Facebook to complain about new Facebook features.

I can be up bright or early. Pick one.

The best part of my morning is when my cat curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I really don't want it to end. Hence the duct tape.