Funny Status Ideas

Facebook has proven that properly using they're, their, and there, is in fact rocket science for most people.

If a glass of wine a day is good for you a bottle a day must be great right?

I know I'm not the only one who does the Carlton dance every time I hear the song "It's Not Unusual".

It's a good thing everyone always says "You only live once" otherwise we might kill ourselves like it's no big deal.

Pro tip: When traveling, choose your rest stops wisely. I just had to explain to my 8 year old what, "ribbed for her pleasure" means.

When a group of midgets do the wave do they call it the ripple?

You will know you're truly famous when you die and half of the population continues to believe you are somehow, somewhere, alive.