Funny Status Ideas

You always think you're unique and special until you have to pick a username.

Every corpse on Everest was once an extremely motivated person.

I thought 23 & me was a documentary about Michael Jordan spending time with an old lady.

‪Coffee keeps me busy until it’s acceptable to drink wine. ‬

Being an adult is eating the crust not because you like it, but because you paid for it.

Jeff Bezos: I'm going to need a divorce. Divorce Attorney: Frequently bought together, gym membership.

It may be time to start exercising . Halfway up this flight of stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying for the summit tomorrow.