Funny Status Ideas

I removed my windshield wipers so that I can't get parking tickets.

There should be a video game called Class Warfare where billionaires have to defend their money bins from hordes of unemployed middle class.

I'd bet that the first caveman that decided to become a vegetarian died from malnourishment & was eaten by other cavemen.

Who was the guy that was like "oooh I'm gonna pull on this cows things and drink it" And then why'd we listen to him?

"We'll just agree to disagree" translates directly to "You couldn't be more freaking wrong but I'm over this argument."

"Yahoo fires CEO!"...is that really a big headline? Wouldn't "Yahoo still exists!" raise more eyebrows?

The only thing Google can't tell you is what you forgot that you wanted to look up.