Funny Status Ideas

Asking a pessimist his opinion is like asking a fire hydrant how it feels about dogs.

me: dad can i go to a 50 cent concert Dad: here's a dollar take your sister too

soon enough facebook will be like inception... a feed within a feed within a feed

My checking account is like the Sistine chapel. Overdrawn.

If the world can't even agree on which side of the street to drive on world peace is pretty much out of the question.

Acorns must come from France. That would explain the tiny berets.

There's a massive AT&T cell tower outage in Los Angeles tonight. Millions are unable to communicate. Many of them sitting in the same room.