Funny Status Ideas

Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but it's dangerous to stare.

Hey, army. You should probably camouflage your helicopters blue, not green.

Happy Birthday, Google. What do you get the website that already has all of your personal data, banking info and browsing history?

Let's face it. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF

I'm avoiding cliches like the plague with every fiber of my being.

The way I feel when a waiter brings my food is probably similar to the excitement of a dude on Maury who just got told he's not the father.

Is it racial profiling when a waiter in a Chinese restaurant gives me a fork?