Funny Status Ideas

Happy Birthday, Google. What do you get the website that already has all of your personal data, banking info and browsing history?

Let's face it. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF

I'm avoiding cliches like the plague with every fiber of my being.

The way I feel when a waiter brings my food is probably similar to the excitement of a dude on Maury who just got told he's not the father.

Is it racial profiling when a waiter in a Chinese restaurant gives me a fork?

Those annoying subscription cards that fall out of magazines are the earliest forms of pop-up ads.

"Baby on board"? If you want people to stop tailgating you I would go with "pissed off, roid-raging ninja on board".