Funny Status Ideas

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake.

L.A. traffic is so bad it would be quicker to ride piggyback on a midget with a limp.

I'm not saying that Demi Moore is too thin, but Victoria Beckham begged her to eat an M&M.

Whenever I want to use Airplane restrooms or Wall Street, it's always the same story...."Occupied."

Your face is fine. But, you'll have to put a bag over that personality.

It's best not to marry a man who refers to the rehearsal dinner as the "Last Supper."

The hyphen in the word co-operation makes it seem like the letters can't work together without help.