Funny Status Ideas

Babies with sunglasses are hilarious. They're like tiny blind, jazz musicians.

Completing a jury duty form online is so convenient because googling how to get out of it is that much closer.

You know you're ghetto when the sorting hat puts you in Waffle House.

My car having a key-less ignition has saved a lot of idiots that park way too close to me so much money on car repairs.

Is it weirder that a guy tried to get cans of green beans through airport security or that they didn't let him?

Moses would be the best lifeguard ever.

It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.