Funny Status Ideas

Sadly, 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. Could be worse though, the other half end in death.

I like to wear khakis and a red shirt to Target and when people ask I yell "Do I look like I freaking work here?

Looks like Walgreens is gonna be Christmas for Halloween.

Ladies, the reason you can't find a kind, sensitive and handsome single man is that they already have boyfriends.

Upon further consideration, "Gillette: The best a man can get" is an incredibly depressing thought.

You say kissing. Cannibals say taste testing.

Bring your daughter to work day must be awkward for prostitutes.