Funny Status Ideas

Cool Hand Luke = Paul Newman. Cool hand, Luke = Mark Hamill

Where do you think Noah kept the termites on his giant wooden boat?

Someone needs to open a bar named "The Gym".

My money keeps unfollowing me.

The next person that steals my identity can f'ing keep it.

If you've had your name called over the PA system at a grocery store, you're now famous enough to compete on Dancing with the Stars.

Cell phones ruined pushing people in the pool.