Funny Status Ideas

Even those starving kids in Africa wouldn't eat my mom's cooking.

My girlfriend wants to get married. I really do hope she meets someone nice.

I can be a morning person after all. I just can't go to bed the night before.

I hope I'm never as visibly frustrated as the people in infomercials "doing it the old fashioned way"

The present-day leading cause of cancer is WebMD's symptom checker.

According to my wife who does the laundry, I've been the underwear bomber for years.

It'd be so easy to be the best villain ever. Just make your bombs go off at like :07.