Funny Status Ideas

With Halloween around the corner, I'm remembering the year my parents dressed me as a piñata and handed out sticks instead of candy.

Writing "Dictionary" for Broadway. It's a play on words

All my friends keep telling me to never succumb to peer pressure. So I'm going to take their advice and not listen to them.

I'm going to buy a large industrial screw then go to an amusement park. I'll get on a roller coaster with someone who looks really scared and when the ride starts, hold up the screw and say, "Wait... where did this come from?"

I have a hunch that my posture is not the best.

Double-negatives are a no-no.

I know that when one door closes another always opens, but man these hallways are a bitch!