Funny Status Ideas

If most of your best friends names start with the letter '@' then you need to get off the computer.

I bet if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

Shouldn't old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?

I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.

Feel free to use the "or less" feature of your 140 characters.

Even if I have no idea why you broke up but I see you went from a relationship to single on Facebook, I'm clicking Like just to stir the pot.

When I gave my wife a cookbook as a gift, she learned how to bake a cake, how to sauté, and exactly how hard she can throw a book at my head.