Funny Status Ideas

Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off of your life. That has to be the longest & most delicious form of suicide I have ever heard.

If there's one thing everybody can agree on, it's that people can't agree on anything.

I don't get it, no matter how many times I call shotgun the cops still put me in the back of the car.

"Iron Man" is a super hero. "Iron woman" is a sexist command.

I have this really cool key locator thing. If only I could find it.

I don't mind being back on my meds... I just think it's sad that at the same time all the dogs in the neighborhood stopped talking to me.

The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.