Funny Status Ideas

I don't get it, no matter how many times I call shotgun the cops still put me in the back of the car.

"Iron Man" is a super hero. "Iron woman" is a sexist command.

I have this really cool key locator thing. If only I could find it.

I don't mind being back on my meds... I just think it's sad that at the same time all the dogs in the neighborhood stopped talking to me.

The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.

"Lets just tell 'em we added another 'G' of speed." "Sounds good, see you guys next year." -Cell phone companies

My friend just told me I am one of the smartest people they know. I told them, "You need to meet more people."