Funny Status Ideas

The Playboy Mansion is the world's greatest nursing home at this point.

Be careful when you say "there are no bad ideas." Some people will seriously go out of their way to prove you wrong.

You want scary? I'm going to be with my in-laws for Halloween.

I'm so pissed at my company's IT people. I just found out hot, local single women have been trying to email me and they've been intercepting them.

How did Ariel learn how to walk so fast? Takes most people like a year to learn.

Why aren't cough drops called anti-cough drops? We don't use bacterial soap.

My therapist thinks I have a god complex. How dare he say that unto me?