Funny Status Ideas

I don't need a flashlight to find my way around in the dark. I have shins for that.

I was a pretty disappointed as a kid when I found out that "debut" was not pronounced the way it's spelled.

Over 10,000 birds die a year from crashing in windows. They must still be using Vista.

Just gave my two weeks notice at the Halloween store. Jerks didn't even seem upset.

I bet M.C. Escher gave the worst directions ever.

Spell-check is always write.

I used to work as a trapeze artist. Until I was let go.