Funny Status Ideas

How the hell was Cinderella the only woman with that shoe size in the entire kingdom?

History is written by the winners. Browsing history is deleted by the perverts.

Are rhinos just unicorns with a thyroid problem?

It would be awesome to make a cow laugh until milk squirted out of her nose.

I'm going to get a tattoo of a grape. Over time it will wrinkle and become a raisin.

I wonder how many seals escape being eaten by great white sharks because the sharks have mistaken them for surfers.

How am I supposed to accept that a monkey as curious as George would never figure out the name of the "Man in the Yellow Hat"?