Funny Status Ideas

According to my neighbor's journal, I have "boundary issues."

It's smart how Freddy Krueger never attacked a community college. He knew he couldn't kill people whose dreams have already died.

I'm done learning new things until someone can prove to me that we won't have Google forever.

Bored? Test drive a Volkswagen Beetle for an afternoon, when schools are let out, and watch a bunch of kids punch each other.

I want to steal your phone and change my contact name to "Nature". Then, I'll call you.

Somehow, when she dresses up like a witch one night a year, it's sexy. But when she's a witch every other day of the year... nothing.

Halloween: The one night a year where we completely undo everything we've taught our kids about taking candy from strangers.