Funny Status Ideas

If you want to take a bank teller out on a date, just ask her. Don't slip her a note at the window. Trust me on this.

It's not easy to make small talk with a meteorologist.

I wonder how many of those drug-sniffing dogs have to go to rehab.

Facebook makes high school reunions awkward. Hey, I haven't seen you 20 years. So how was that nap you took this afternoon?

She has a body like baywatch but a face like crime watch.

Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them.

Remember when someone following you was bad?