Funny Status Ideas

Saw a baby so that ugly it looked like Godzilla. It was a face only a Mothra could love.

We grow up having others' opinions of right and wrong pushed onto us: parents, society, iPhone autocorrect.

Have you ever had a fly land on you screen and your first instinct was to scare it with the cursor?

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.

Life is way more exciting in your forties. At any point you could sneeze wrong and end up getting emergency back surgery.

As a funny prank, Clark Kent should go try to get his ear pierced.

When's my bye week?