Funny Status Ideas

Unlike Mario, I would have given up after finding that first chubby midget instead of a princess.

Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

If a nuclear explosion won't kill cockroaches then wtf is in raid?

My 16yr old son has the saddest facial hair. It looks like he ate something sticky and then rolled on the cat.

Pardon me, waiter- what is "pasto" and why is your Italian appetizer menu so staunchly against it?

The only reason "Ladies first" was made was so guys could check out her ass.

Pizza is like sex, even when its bad its still pretty good.