Funny Status Ideas

Congress declares school lunch pizza a vegetable. All part of "No Child Left Without a Giant Behind."

Men go through 3 stages: Drinking from boobs, staring at boobs, and growing boobs.

I would never go bungee jumping. A broken rubber brought me into this world, and it's not going to take me out.

The problem with sound advice is it's usually 99% sound and 1% advice.

I tried to log on to Facebook. It said, "Cookies are required to operate." I thought to myself, "Me too, Facebook. Me too."

Dance like no ones watching. Sing like no ones listening. Live everyday like Maury told you its not your baby.

Agoraphobics love inside jokes.