Funny Status Ideas

Did I miss the Academy Awards again?! Darn that makes like 10 years in a row.

It's so cold, tonight I got a $5 foot long from subway, but by the time I got back to my car it was only 6 inches...

Turns out Robert Kraft isn't against ALL kneeling.

If you think about it, a boxing match is really just someone trying to count to 10 but they're constantly being interrupted by a fistfight between two other people.

Air Bags: your car's attempt of trying to cheer you up after an accident by giving you surprise balloons.

Ran into my ex yesterday. I could have sworn the light was green...

I was late for my first Fight Club last night so I missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I’d highly recommend Fight Club.