Funny Status Ideas

I used to date a girl who would show them so much they should have been called her "publics".

Deleting your Facebook is just like running away from home. Your're just doing it for attention and you'll be back in an hour or so.

Herman Cain has now denied more sex than I've had.

Not gonna say what I bought, but Amazon just reviewed my order and said, “You might also be interested in therapy.”

It's pretty cool that neck tattoo's say the same thing in every language. "I'm not getting the job am I?"

I don't know what my credit score is but I'm pretty sure I'm losing.

With the amount of people who hide their identity online you'd think this place is rampant with superheroes.